Sin is for one man to walk brutally over the life of another and to be quite oblivious of the wounds he has left behind. This is a very wonderful, true, honest, and heartfelt statement. So many people need to know this.
I know in my heart I have never left wounds behind. I know that others have done this to me. It's what has made me who I am. You can go either way - be bitter and be like them, or be compassionate and caring and have deep empathy and help and listen to those who have experienced this horror. For all who understand this - I love you.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Scatter Brain
My head is so full, I can't get it straight. I can sort it all out, organize it, prioritize it.....but it's all still there. If I clear it, I will forget.
There are so many things I want to do, so many things I need to say. I need to get it all out, but I have to tread lightly. Those on the other end have unique qualities and need to be treated with dignity and respect. I can't just blurt all this crap out.
I breathe deep, take my time, express with deep feeling.
It will all be OK.
There are so many things I want to do, so many things I need to say. I need to get it all out, but I have to tread lightly. Those on the other end have unique qualities and need to be treated with dignity and respect. I can't just blurt all this crap out.
I breathe deep, take my time, express with deep feeling.
It will all be OK.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Flying
I started flying in my dreams when I was 10. I used the gentle slope of the side yard at my childhood home to gain momentum. At first I could not get more than a few feet off the ground. I then started using miniature surf boards for "wings". I used these boards at the pool where I took swimming lessons in my life while awake. They worked well and made me feel safe in my dream world.
I flew frequently in my dreams, allowing me the practice I needed. At first, for many years, I flew to escape out of school windows, escape off the playground where I was incessantly harrassed and brutalized by a select group of evil child terrorists. I would float 20 feet in the air so they could not get to me. During my high school years, I faced the challenge of power lines while flying. It took many years for me to get over the fear and frustration of possibly hitting a power line while flying in my dreams. It took away the freedom I felt. I later realized that I could fly so much higher than power lines and the fear was ridiculous and freedom was mine again.
I mastered the art of flying as the years went by. I could fly to the top of a large buildings, observe the world below, fly around the edge of large domed structures without detection, dance in the air without feeling any pain, do gymnastics in the air like an athlete, with no gravity to throw me to the hard ground, soar over giant mountains and seas, and go anywhere I wanted to go.
The elation is unimaginable. I still fly often. I can fly any night I want just by saying " I want to fly tonight".
Some would say I am troubled, but I say, we all have our ways of escaping....going somewhere besides here. There are good ways to do that and bad ways. I belive flying in my dreams is a good way - and so good for my soul.
I flew frequently in my dreams, allowing me the practice I needed. At first, for many years, I flew to escape out of school windows, escape off the playground where I was incessantly harrassed and brutalized by a select group of evil child terrorists. I would float 20 feet in the air so they could not get to me. During my high school years, I faced the challenge of power lines while flying. It took many years for me to get over the fear and frustration of possibly hitting a power line while flying in my dreams. It took away the freedom I felt. I later realized that I could fly so much higher than power lines and the fear was ridiculous and freedom was mine again.
I mastered the art of flying as the years went by. I could fly to the top of a large buildings, observe the world below, fly around the edge of large domed structures without detection, dance in the air without feeling any pain, do gymnastics in the air like an athlete, with no gravity to throw me to the hard ground, soar over giant mountains and seas, and go anywhere I wanted to go.
The elation is unimaginable. I still fly often. I can fly any night I want just by saying " I want to fly tonight".
Some would say I am troubled, but I say, we all have our ways of escaping....going somewhere besides here. There are good ways to do that and bad ways. I belive flying in my dreams is a good way - and so good for my soul.
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